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Category Archives: Parenting

Mothering two boys

I recently, well more recent than not had a beautiful baby boy, our second, born VBAC after a long labor and hours of pushing. During the labor I said (calmly…no really I was calm) that “all future children will be adopted.” After my little love bug came out all I could think was “I want to do that AGAIN” fortunately for my body, my husband is a bit more practical in these matters and wants us to wait at least ‘a little while’ before we have our next.

That being said I do still want another…badly. BUT I can say we need to wait if there is any hope of a third child surviving. Most of my day now comprises of feeding, nursing, changing and keeping my younger bug alive. Between my Pumpkin’s over enthused sharing, attempts to wrestle and just flat out trying to SIT on my young son Buggy boy is amazingly growing up well. I think by now I’d be hiding in a corner waiting for the next attack Which come to think of it I am. Buggy boy though is confident and keeps walking, well crawling into the lions den. Pumpkin boy on the other hand just looks confused when Bug gets hurt, I don’t doubt for a second that he is entirely unable to understand that he is what caused pain. Developmentally…blah blah blah. Short of it he doesn’t understand yet, in a few months to a year he will. Which bring  us back full circle to survival of said third child. I want to wait until Bug and Pumpkin will be ‘safe’ or at least ‘safer.’

I do love them being so close in age (16 months 10 days) If I can I’d like to have sets of kids 3 years apart, so they’d each of a close sibling, and not at risk of bodily harm from older siblings. Yeah that would mean 6 kids total. My husband is totally sold on 5, so I have a few years to convince him of 6 or him to convince me of 5. Then again maybe my kids will convince me of only having 4…

What about Blogging?

You know I feel like blogging has become on of those sad things for me like keeping a dairy. I have had numerous diaries. My husband found one last year from when I was 13. It said and I quote, “Today is my 13th birthday. I am going to keep this diary. I will write in it every day!” Then nothing. I actually mean NOTHING not a single entry after my declaration to keep a diary. So instead of promising I will keep this up. I think I won’t promise and just wait and see if it becomes a habit.

I have another blog that I’m going to take down. I don’t like it, Yes it has more posts, but its not me like this one will be. However, I jumped some my favorite posts over to here. My voice on this blog will be me rather than the politically correct one I had been posing, that  may be due to the fact I gave out the address before really getting to writing it. There is something to be said about knowing people who don’t like you reading what you’ve written and knowing you’ll be judged all that much more. Don’t worry the number of people that don’t like me are actually very very small and its just because they have interest in getting to know me…but that’s a whole other world.

Anyway ‘they’ say a successful blog should have one focus. Ehhh I guess the focus is going to be me and thing I’m interested in at the time. Mostly mothering, saving money, crafting and mothering. If anyone reads this wonderful. If not at least its cathartic.

Does pregnancy make you a bad mother?

I am now pregnant with my second child. It seems each day I am failing more and more at my job. Yesterday I fed my 1 year old breakfast twice and forgot lunch all together. It wasn’t until I found him searching through his diaper bag with a granola bar in his hand I realized, Dang I forgot to eat! Now granted he is eating enough, maybe more eggs than balanced meals. He is also managing to stay very clean as I continue to forget what day it is. Generally baths are as needed or every 2-3 days. I mean its not like he goes anywhere where he’s going to get dirty. Other than some banana behind his right ear he doesn’t need a bath everyday, However, that’s exactly what he’s been getting because today is Wednesday, not Monday.

          Its funny how much pregnancy has tried my sanity. I mean why does the dog keep barking! Why does he keep taking the food the baby offers him! Why does the baby only offer food that actually takes time and money to cook?  How does the baby know when I forgot to put the gate back up on the stairs? At least now he waits and giggles until I notice he’s about to kill himself to book it up the stairs. How many kisses could one baby need? And why is it I can’t pee in peace?  Why is it that the little bit of TV have commercials that make me cry? Or worry that I’m not watching out who my child’s friends are? Oh, and that my child has no friends yet other than his two cousins and my neighbors granddaughter. What if they are a bad influence? Are they all going to break out and do drugs, or worse become loners in a glee club?
         I, now worry that I’m not doing enough to raise my son. I mean organic food, babywearing, breastfeeding, no TV, reading books and spending time letting him become himself can’t be enough. What if we don’t have enough money? What if our house is too small? What if our house is too big? Mean while I forget to mop the floor and the dog is cleaning up yet another trail of carrots. It seems that having another child is making me question everything I do, but helping me to do nothing.
          Without these hormones I can calmly and boldly hold my head high as my son learns to walk at 10 months and says his first word at 9. Now I worry that some how I have pushed him and he’ll spend the rest of his life being an over achiever. What if he stops talking? What if he decides he like dance better than football? What if he decides to play football? Which follows how can he do either if he’s not potty trained?
         At the end of the day I lay down and look at my angel as he falls asleep and Thank God he’s mine. I think we’re doing alright. All those other things can wait until he’s older. In the mean time I have to pee yet again…and I forgot to wash the clothes.